failed attempt.

            You’re doing great sweetie. Seriously I have to give it to myself for lasting this long in my attempt at not allowing the senioritis to consume me. I guess I am just at a shock that the semester is closing in and sooner or later it will become a distant memory. I think it is safe to say that the knotted rope that is coiling inside my stomach and getting tighter and tighter as days turn into weeks is my anxiety towards my impending future. Side note: seriously what is up with me getting inspiration at 1 AM’s with bucketloads of homework crushing my head. I wish I could function like a normal person and write at a decent time so my life wouldn’t be as stressed. Aha who am I kidding–I could never be normal and I am totally alright with that because lets face it, all I know how to be is weird. Plus being normal is completely overrated. 

Internships. MFA programs. Jobs. Graduation. Loans. When does it ever end? I have  always thought about what the real purpose of us breaking our backs for a little piece of paper that states that we are a little bit more smarter then when we entered four years beforehand. But that little slip of paper does not hold as much value so we have to keep on going higher, collecting more slips of paper to prove our intellect. But then we realize once we are out there in the real world, facing the cold reality, that we indeed have been sheltered and we are not cut out to be adults. But here’s the catch: it’s too late to get a refund on our purchase and we are royally screwed. So what do we do? We pretend and become philosophers in the art of bullshit; so much so that we start feeding into our own lies. So in the end, how much of a positive impact does going to college and receiving little slips of paper to prove our intellect really do for us?

Or maybe I am fishing for excuses as to why I should not do my homework and just go to the comfort of my bed that never disappoints me. I know I am not the only one who prolongs completing an assignment because I cannot convince myself with reason why I should complete my work. I literally just spent 20 minutes listening to fifth harmony’s song “he like that” on replay and I was really feeling myself aha and now I am listening to cardi b’s bodak yellow and French Montana’s unforgettable. I honestly don’t know why I felt the need to share that with you all. I wasted another hour dancing and listening to Sway by Danielle Bradbery. Well I guess any attempts of me doing homework tonight has long been gone. I really need someone to keep me accountable. As well as my reason for making this post…I suck aha

P.S. I thought I just deleted this whole post. #storyofmylife #thankstoSimonethetechguru 


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